dropping and changing

well, it's a goddamn monday night in the big City de Iowa. I was out over the weekend visiting fabulous friends in Omaha. I would post some pics from the trip, but my PC is out and I am "surviving" off a very generous friend's laptop. I hung out with my dear friend Brandon, saw my friend Shelly's art show at the Hot Shops, met my friend Monica's loving, funny and warm parents, unexpectedly saw another old friend's art show, chatted with artists about installation work and art as a means of social change, and contemplated how to change my major from Performance Entreprenuership to something within the intermedia art disciplines. I met w/ an advisor today and tried to work out a new plan regading the change in my major. I think I need to speak with someone directly in the department, however. I know that business classes are still important- an artist without business savvy is an artist dependent on others- but i don't want be so loaded down with entreprenurial business classes that the art becomes secondary. Anyway, this is my current quandary, but it is for me to trust the path will emerge- that this shift has an energy to be followed, not feared.

I dropped my Fundamentals of Music class as it was becoming overwhelming. I learned more in half a semester than i expected to for the semester as a whole. it was definitely a course for music majors- not non-music majors. I would like to take a piano class now, to put what i've learned into the realm of the practical. something that is low-pressure, as music is something i want to continue to enjoy- not strive to prove myself in.

that is the general attitude that has been emerging with me as of late. it is time to stop striving, proving, fighting. it is time to ride the ride- take what is given and explore it, not prove myself in it. put the competitive nature aside and move into a place where I walk through the house of knowledge naked, not embarrassed of what I can or can't do. This will take practice, but the feeling of relief i find in this attitude is far more rewarding than the strokes the ego is ceasely in search of.

If possible, i will post pics from the trip sometime soon. see- if i was in a video class, i could just hop on the computer and load up images there. ah well. it will happen. a new bridge is being built.